Apocalypto

I saw Apocalypto at the weekend. I’d write a review but instead here are some random words and phrases to describe it:

Formulaic

Boring

Tedious

Dull

Ridiculous

Implausible

Violent

Gratuitious

Here’s how Mel could have improved it:

Edited half an hour out

Not gone quite so far up his own arse

Named the characters

How about no slow-motion.

And what was just fine?

Fantastic costumes and make-up

The first 20 minutes were great – a fascinating depiction of what Mayan village life might have been like.

And how do I feel?

Like I had amnesia for 2 1/2 hours. Disappointed.

Score 3/10