Mental Deposit: October 2006

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006

My Final Day on Bottle Beach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPUkwo2hENw

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Shanghai 2005

I just had my final roll of film developed and scanned and found this. It was a boiling hot day as I remember and the sun was just starting to break through in the late afternoon.

The Banana Split Show

On a happier note here are the Banana Splits. God knows what that was all about.

This film covered all bases: inter-continental nuclear armageddon, nuclear winter and eating raw sheep, the list goes on. Like all good docu-dramas you end up thinking, "What would I do?". Indeed at school one of the big questions was, "What would you do if the 3 minute warning started?". You had to have an answer, as after those 3 minutes if you were lucky you'd be dead, and you don't want to spend them wondering what to do next.

I do now have a fascination with Cold War bunkers, and subterranean London. There's a city down there built with our money and we know next to nothing about it. I read a dreadful book called "Domain" by James Herbert about giant rats eating survivors of a nuclear war in London. Though the book was crap, he was right about a place called the Kingsway Exchange. Obstensibly this was a telephone exchange behind Holborn but in reality was the heavily reinforced entrance to a bunker. There's a huge bunker under the MOD but from what I've heard of people that have actually been in it its not as exciting as it sounds. That either means that its not exciting or that its so mindblowingly exciting that they're not allowed to say. Its called Pindar and cost an absolute fortune.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Bleak and twisted films

I saw Children of Men last night. It was a good film, bleak and brutal and though I enjoyed it immensely I remember thinking to myself that I need never see it again. The Guardian's reviewer said he was reminded of Threads when we watched it. Threads is a docu-drama made for the BBC in the early 1980s chronicling, without pulling any punches, how unmitigatingly horrific nuclear war would be. I saw it first when I was 12 and had nightmares for 2 years. It followed the lives of 3 families living in Sheffied, then the nuclear attack itself, then the aftermath of nuclear winter and complete hellishness of it all. Now Children of Men is a pretty grim portrayal of future Britain, and not withstanding the lack of nuclear annhilation, if it all goes to shit, Britain would become a very unlovely place.

I've two other decidely unlovely dvds languishing on my shelf. One is 'Ichi the Killer', which a friend described as being completely horrific (but in a non-nuclear kind of way). Its Japanese and directed by the guy that did 'Audition', and its fully fucked up. I tried to watch it the other day and got as far as the menu screen and couldn't take any more. Total Film said of it, "Virtuoso... Teeth gnashingly violent, deleriously inventive". A bit like Wallace and Gromit with chainsaws then.

'Oldboy' is the other dvd awaiting my viewing pleasure. Its definitely Korean, and definitley fucked up and wrong on a massive number of levels. Still the Daily Telegraph descibed it as "Magnificent" and it won the Cannes Grand Prix du Jury 2004.

I saw a film called 'Hostel' a few months ago which I actively discourage people from watching. I didn't understand why it was made. It wasn't enjoyable. It wasn't literally sickening, but gratuitous violence as a description doesn't come near. Violence aside it was also a very shit film.
So don't go there.

Heathrow Airport

It defines 'Bedlam'.

Terminal 2 is the most revolting, foul, unpleasant building in Britain.

And the queues for the passport check getting back into the country for EU members are a joke.

And you've just walked about a mile to get to that bastard queue.

And the travelators are broken.

And the security is a ludicrous.

And the duty-free shops make a killing on bottled water and lighters.

And the traffic jam getting into the place is just obscene.

And the Heathrow Express is the most expensive railway in the world.

And the oh sod it, the Spanish own it now, so blame them.

Kit Kat Chunky Peanut: Right or Wrong?

It may be disgustingly sweet but there is something revoltingly good about the latest Kit Kat concoction. The peanut butter is peanut butter in the sense of the "beef" in a McDonalds burger. You wouldn't spread it on a piece of bread but you don't need to as its surrounded by chocolate. Similairly I dare you to eat the "meat" from Mcdonalds without the gherkin, mustard, ketchup or bread. I'm not even convinced that there is peanut in that peanut butter, but it is a modern marvel that they can create a substance that is sweeter than sugar. True, you can't crunch the sugar, nor does it make your mouth burn, and it actually tastes quite rank. Yet it still works.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Coup d'Etat TV

BBC heralds the (frankly alarming) breaking news on Tuesday night (20/9). The blue one and the yellow one below are what the 7 state channels showed on a loop for over 12 hours. I wasn't so good at the karaoke. Then there's me with Wednesday's edition of the Bangkok Post.

Living Under the Shadow of a Gun

I've just been in Thailand for a month's holiday and was in Bangkok for the coup, which was huge fun. Here's the email I sent on Wednesday evening on 21st September, at the end the first full day of Martial Law:

Being as I am in Bangkok, I thought that I should fill you in on what is really happening here. George Alagaya, BBC's World at One anchor finished his report today with the line that Thais are, "living under the shadow of a gun". Technically speaking this is true, but then everybody in the world lives under the shadow of a gun. It was such a gross exaggeration that I was actually stunned by it. The coup that he's reporting is a completely different one to what I've seen today. I was also told that there is "Martial Law" in Bangkok. I've no idea what that means. The BBC failed elaborate so we are all none the wiser. In fact the BBC made it seem like we are all trapped inside, shivering in fear for our lives, awaiting the evacuation order from our embassies. That tanks are cruising through the streets, that the streets themselves are full of troops, that there is a curfew, that "We're all going to die!".

Its, um, not true. As far as I know, the tanks are around government house. Martial law may be in effect but there's no discernible difference to normal Bangkok, which is a fairly abnormal city anyway. I went out for a pizza in the centre of town this evening and it was only on the way back in the taxi that I actually saw any troops. At one junction there were a couple of soldiers in camouflage with helmets and M-16s standing on a traffic island under a bridge looking bored out of their minds. Just round the corner were two army trucks parked at the side of the road full of sleeping soldiers. Opposite from my friend's apartment there is a Navy radio station which today had two guards in khaki with rifles, again looking about as bored as bored can be. I almost felt sorry for them. Oh, and I saw another one in khaki on the back of the scooter out buying his lunch. It is certainly no Tiananeman Square.

When the news broke last night that there was a coup underway it was rather alarming. I saw it first on the BBC website at about 10.30pm, and switched on the TV. All of the Thai channels, seven in all, were showing the same video, images of the King and Queen with patriotic music playing. Along the bottom of the screen was Thai text that filled with blue. I soon realised that I was watching Karaoke Coup TV with Sing-along subtitles. BBC and CNN were fairly sketchy about what was happening apart from the mention of tanks and troops entering government house. I quickly rattled off an email home saying I was ok, then soon after went to bed, as it became apparent that none of the stations knew what was happening. When I woke this morning at 7am all the international news channels had been taken off the air which was more alarming as, as loathsome as they are, they are actually quite useful when things go pear-shaped. The Thai channels were still looping the same Karaoke video; I'd never realised that I'd miss Thai TV quite so much. As it turned out, today was a public holiday and there was almost no traffic, which made getting around town really really easy, and there was far less pollution. In some ways I wish there was a coup everyday then Bangkok would be almost pleasant.

BBC and CNN came back on around lunchtime which is how I saw their frankly laughable reports. Various taxi drivers said that it was good that, "Army no bang bang", "1992 lots of bang bang", "England Number 1!", "Premier League very good" and that there had been a curfew last night at 10pm and that that poor taxi driver had only made 200B in four hours, which was "No good".

It has been a genuinely exciting day. I can now say that I've been in a capital city having a military coup and I really enjoyed it. I'm extremely glad that it has been bloodless as it would have been really bad if there had been shooting and nastiness. I'm also rather glad that I did see some troops this evening as I was starting to think that it was the lamest coup ever. I mean what kind of military coup doesn't involve soldiers? And then I saw some and felt much better. They don't even look out of place. All security guards here, and there are loads of them everywhere, and all the police are pseudo paramilitary so its good to see some proper non-corruptible no nonsense soldiers. As a friend of mine commented, he almost felt safer now than when the police were in control.

From what I can gather the coup has been completely welcome in Bangkok. It is not an army seizure of power but an army instigated removal of a completely crooked, corrupt and for the last month absent leader, Thaksin. He's been described in the Bangkok Post as Caretaker Prime Minister as the results of the General Election in April/May were annulled after the opposition refused to stand - the BBC will fill you in on the why and wherenots of who he is and why he's so despised. He's now en route to London where he's just bought a new house, and the talk of the town is whether he will come back to Thailand or not. He was rumoured to be returning tomorrow so school has been cancelled for a second day, but really its all guesswork.

Fingers crossed that tonight is peaceful, that the military rule is as short-lived as the generals say it will be, and on a personal level, that my flight isn't delayed on Friday as they were last night and today.The pictures attached (see next post) are of the state TV video loop, and me getting overexcited with today's Bangkok Post.

Mental Deposit

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Bonkers Fancy Dress